Thinking of you

Dear Baby,
Tonight Daddy is home because it was a safety day and they had to be in at 6:30 this morning. As I was chopping potatoes you kicked me really hard for the first time. I love it. But it also got me thinking; I'm scared for you. Watching Daddy and Nathan playing makes me scared that you won't be OK like your brother turned out to be. Nathan went through so much when he was born, and we were very blessed in the fact that he is alright now. However, we had many doctors tell us that it could have been much worse...and for me that means you. What if you have bleeds too? What if things are not as promising as with Nathan? I'm just so worried for you, and I feel bad because of it.
When I was pregnant with your brother I was just so excited and blissfully naive to what could happen...now I am fully aware and want to be blissful about you. I can't wait to have you here and HOME. Having you home is a big deal for Daddy and I. It took months before we had Nathan HOME. Yes, he would come home for a day or two and then we would have to have him admitted again. Plus, those days that he was sleeping at home we would still have to take him in to have his head drained. I know this is none of your concern right now, I want you to focus on growing big and strong...and let Daddy and I do all the worrying. But, I felt I needed to tell you why I am so worried about you. We love you, and can't wait for you!

Love,
Mommy